Current Energy

The past three weeks have been a whirlwind of intense experiences, with a profound shift in perspective and an electrifying quantum leap. Everything had to be turned upside down, deconstructed, and looked upon from a wide-angle view.

It was painful to break free of the old rigid energy constructs and shed them, but I did it, and I have emerged from this transformative period feeling unexpectedly grounded, mature, and well-practiced.

What about that quantum leap? My whole reality changed in the blink of an eye. When I aligned with my unique abilities, untapped potential, deepest desires, and unwavering passions, those around me aligned with them, too!

Speaking of passions…

I am currently making bold moves on long-term projects, such as organizing monthly sound healing, guided meditation, and music/dance temple events, launching an integrated apparel brand, and providing personalized one-on-one energy coaching/consulting services.

The groundedness I feel at the core of my existence today is off the charts! I am devoted to living ambitiously, authentically, and with unbridled joy in my heart!

Happy 51st Birthday to me!

I’ve been deep in the shadows for a while now—not willingly, mind you.

I never came into shadow work of my own volition. I tried to avoid it for years upon years. But we seem to evolve no matter what, and to get to where I want to be, it was necessary to go there—to make the unconscious conscious.

At some points in the last couple of years, I felt I was definitely at my lowest, full of fears and insecurities I didn’t know I had.

I was also confronted with the shadow of my feelings of unworthiness via the reflections of those around me. I didn’t think I had these feelings or beliefs about myself. I knew I had some bumps and bruises holding me back, but never did I think it could be so very deep-seated.

After mucking around in it for a while, I found that my trauma is my mother’s trauma, and my mother’s trauma is my grandmother’s trauma. The hardest part was realizing that my trauma is now also all of my daughters’ trauma.

The only thing to do about it is to do the thing that all of my traumatized mothers didn’t or couldn’t do.

What thing is that?

Know my worth and embody it.

And you know what? I’m doing the thing. I’m shedding that old skin that’s far too small for who and what I am.

Unapologetically.

My way of doing radical modern magick for the last few years has been a very silent way.

A non-doing way.

It’s been more about learning how to not do things.

How to have self-control and restraint.

Inner alchemy is difficult to describe as my experience of it is via senses that cross with the body, the energy moving through the body, and unknown other spaces or dimensions while suspending all thought as best as possible. I carefully take note of what pops into my awareness. I often sense a lot of alchemical processes in my energy field: rushing, bubbling, burning, floating, cooling, and such. It’s just like a whole chemistry lab, but all of it in my one body, layered.

Much of my continued learning as a mystic has been short bursts of series of events showing me the way: a post here, a movie there, an experience here, a field report there, a thought out of the blue here, and a harmony of A-HAs everywhere.

Two years ago, it was about the arrival of rainbow seraphim and the subsequent great divide.
Last year, it was about being in the eye of the storm so that one could pass through the eye of the needle.

This year is about only what I can describe as communion with the first source, or God if you will. It is about remembering who we really are and where we have come from, why we are here, and letting go of the mental and emotional constructs that keep us limited.

The eye of the needle part was about testing our egos and seeing if we were going to let our idea of what is supposed to be for us lead the way or surrender to the flow of higher consciousness to lead the way. It’s a good thing I already studied the Tao and Taoist practices a long while ago. I have found the information and practice to be extremely beneficial throughout my life, especially now.

Just this past weekend, my heart was pierced. A flow has started to grow. It is an immaculate sensation when I get it going—divinity. Of course, the expansion bubble has since closed into a contraction since my last A-HA moment. It is time to put that pearl of knowing to the test in the flesh and do the things I saw I should be doing on a daily basis, whether I feel that divine awareness or not.